I have always wanted the girlish figure. As a teen I had no shape to my body, and I was easily assumed to be younger than I was.

On my 16 birthday, we were at a little getaway. I had been a little flirtation with another boy staying at the same place. I casually mentioned it was my birthday and he asked if I had just turned 12. 😱 16 to 12. 😖No 16 year old wants to be told they look 12. 😢

But it was true. I had no figure because I have always been petite (sounds better than skinny). 😉 I was always one of the smallest in any place I hung out. Not much you can do about that. 🤷🏻‍♀️

However, that doesn’t stop you from seeing the pictures and movies of girlish figures and wishing to have a feminine body. Is it just me who grew up hearing “girlish figure?”

When I went off to college, I watched my roommates dress feminine through their styles. I loved having roommates because we all shared clothes. Within that first year, I discovered I needed to buy more girly clothes to help create a feminine appearance that I was longing for.

I loved dressing up! I still do! I still love wearing my own styles regardless of the trend. And I still prefer a dress over pants. 🤷🏻‍♀️😍

I had a new confidence in myself that I never before felt. I finally felt like I looked like a lady not a little girl. 🙌🏼 My body hadn’t changed, so I learned I had to think about what I wore.

Change of WARDROBE!

This meant NO MORE T-SHIRTS! T-shirts did not flatter my body, so even if I was just hanging out with friends, I did not wear t-shirts. 🤷🏻‍♀️ They diminished the feminine look I was going for. My mind had conceived and kept this thought.

I did not OWN a T-SHIRT for the next 14 years. 😱 My husband may joke that I dress up too much, but for 14 years (11 being married) I did not wear t-shirts out of fear it would take away from the appearance of a girlish figure.

It was this conceived thought (I had created) that t-shirts gave my body the wrong look that affected a good chunk of my life. 🤦🏻‍♀️😢 I looked terrible in t-shirts and should never wear them. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 😒

Girlish Figure Gone

Then I had children. ❤️ After my 2nd child, the attempt to have a girlish figure was GONE. 😞 That was really mentally hard for me. For 20 years (since a kid) all I wanted was a girlish figure like the 50s girls. 😢 This post isn’t about that though, but it was extremely hard for me. 😉

Fast forward 5 years, another kid and one more on the way. Still not wearing t-shirts except the kid size Mario t-shirt I wore camping that was hidden in a drawer. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Wearing a T-Shirt

Just 3 years ago, some mom friends and I were doing a tradition – a mom dance at Festival of Trees, a fundraiser for children for the Children’s Hospital. They wanted to wear a fun Christmas T-shirt (as those were becoming more stylish). I really didn’t want to, but that’s what most voted so we did.

I was preggo at the time, so that girlish figure was “out the door” anyways. 😉 So I wore my t-shirt! And I loved the cute saying. ❤️❤️

T-shirts were becoming a style and although I didn’t follow trends, I liked a lot of them. There were all sorts of holiday ones and then all of a sudden t-shirts for everything! At that point, I had realized my chance of a girlish figure was basically gone, and I might as wear what I considered cute and fun t-shirts.

My closet is now half full (almost 😉) of several t-shirts! I have lots of teacher t-shirts! 👩‍🏫 I have several baseball t-shirts because those have been fun to wear when coaching or being a spectator at my boys’ games. ⚾️ And being a mom of 4, I have several mom t-shirts. My fave ones are from Desirae’s Closet because she gets it and the shirts make me laugh. ❤️

I even have Pokémon, Minecraft and superhero t-shirts now. 🥰 I honestly love t-shirts now. 😍

Mind Change

Something had changed. My pre-conceived mind had been altered.

Here I am 34 (nope 35 because I went most of 2020 thinking I was still 34 🤦🏻‍♀️), and waking up on a Saturday thinking “What t-shirt should I wear?”

What had changed?

I have been working really hard on loving myself and seeing my own type of beauty for the last 4 years after having my first daughter. I wanted a daughter, but I was so worried she would have her mother’s mind. 😒 I knew I had to lead by example and that meant learning to love myself.

I don’t want that girlish figure anymore because that isn’t me. Never has been. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Why did I for years wish for a different body type? Why? Because the world and media told me too.

A girl’s figure is nothing like a woman’s figure. 🤷🏻‍♀️ For so many obvious reasons. The thing is, that girlish figure phrase shouldn’t even be used. It stereotypes what a body should be like and that’s not what everyone has not even little girls. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Even children, girls, don’t all have the same type of body. Everything about that phrase is wrong. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I was a skinny girl and hated it. My sister was a thicker girl and had her own battles with herself. Seems whatever the body type, many struggle feeling comfortable in their own skin even young girls.

The world is changing to try to teach girls/women to love their own bodies, but there are several generations that are alive that grew up being told they had the wrong body. It is a battle for them regardless if it’s the fact that they have bigger thighs, no boobs or a round waste.

Make YOUR CHANGE

Everyone has to work (yes work) on their own mind and learn to love themselves.

It took me 28 years (noticed as a 7 year old kid, I was the smallest and hated it.) to finally be comfortable in my own skin. I haven’t lost all the weight since having 4 kids. But I have learned that I don’t need or WANT to be that 100 lb person. That was a time before the best time of my life- being a mom. I don’t always love the added skin around my waste, and when I make the time maybe I can loose some, but it is my mom body right now. Plus some of us are on meds that cause weight gain. Mental health is important too. All our bodies change with age anyways. Like the guy on Tik Tok said, “Mom bods are 😍!” ❤️🥰

For now, I wear my t-shirts and love my own self even if there are days I get frustrated with the extra. Most important thing is remembering that I have broken that conceived thought that I couldn’t wear t-shirts after 14 years. 🙌🏼

Yes, many look at me and say I am small, but I have always been small. Small and skinny with no figure. But I am a few pant sizes bigger than I had been, so sometimes it is hard not fitting what I used to love to wear. But loving myself and my body is more important than everything else. ❤️

Forget THAT GIRLISH FIGURE concept or whatever YOUR BRAIN HAS CONCEIVED about bodies. By forget I mean, PUSH IT OUT!

Dress your style because that will help you see your own beautiful self. If you love lace, wear lace. If you love leggings, wear leggings. If you love how something looks on someone else, wear it and tell your brain it looks just as good in you!

Don’t just try it for one day. Wear it again and again. You may get compliments, but even even if not, give yourself a compliment. ❤️🥰❤️🥰

It may take you time, but PUSH OUT your own banged in 🔨 conceived thoughts!!

LOVE YOURSELF!

If this article makes no sense to you or it’s hard to understand, I envy you. ❤️ There are women out there that do struggle with conceived thoughts about their bodies.

Feel free to comment a conceived thought or body issue you have been working on or struggle with. Sometimes identifying it will help you start the healing process.

This article is just one of the MY MIND articles to be shared on this blog. You can subscribe to see more articles when published or follow on You Can Call Me Jess Blog Page via Facebook or Follow me on Instagram.